Artists and Not Feeling “Included”: Questions For When You Are Tripping
So recently I had an experience where I saw an artist making moves, and I started to simmer in some irrational and childish salt. I had it in my mind that I deserved to be a part of what they were doing, and they were underappreciating what I have brought/bring to the hip-hop table. Even with me knowing these feelings made no sense, the reality no less real. This, unfortunately, is a common sensation (front if you want), and many people know what it’s like to feel entitled to be a part of something somebody else put together, especially artists. I can’t technically dictate who reads this and who doesn’t, but I would strongly prefer for artists in denial about ever having these feelings to go somewhere else until they are ready to read this. Having these feelings is more normal than we all care to admit, but how we handle it determines how our character evolves. Here are some questions we can ask ourselves when this arrogant chain of feelings and thoughts arise:
Have you ever collaborated with or done anything for the person/team that you are feeling salty about?
Often times, we get salty about not being asked to be apart of somebody else’s momentum, even when we haven’t given them a real reason to. Why would somebody feel obligated to help you when you haven’t reached out to them at any point prior to your fake outrage? If there wasn’t a partnership before, why behave like there is one now? In the case where you have collaborated with the person/team, but are currently getting left out, there is a question here that resolves that as well…
Is your grind comparable to theirs?
It’s amazing how even when I’m not hustling, working on my craft, promotion, or other dimensions of being an artist, I can have the ability to be like “how dare he/she do this without me being a part of it?!” When you live on the couch, you get left out the meal. Period. What’s even more important to note is that the less you stay on the couch, the more you are able to make your own meal, and won’t have to worry about somebody else’s. If your grind is below theirs, you don’t have a sturdy leg to stand on. If you choose to keep a low level of grind while catching feelings, not only do you have a Fear of Missing Out, but you may have a Fear of Making Opportunities. If your grind is equal to theirs, increasing your grind should still be your primary focus. If your grind is above theirs than what are you worried about?
Has your walk towards your goals been flawless?
This is the question we should turn to in case the answer to the first question is “yes,” but the truth is that the universal answer to this question for all of us is “no.” Matthew 7:5 eloquently says “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” We have all made mistakes in which we have done selfish, insensitive, and inconsiderate things to achieve our goals. We would miss out on an excellent growth opportunity if we forget our own trail of incidental shadiness just because somebody else’s is showing in right in front of your face.
Should you be doing whatever it is they are doing in the first place?
If the answer is “no,” which isn’t an uncommon answer, it is a true testimony of how strong a fear of missing out can be. In recent history I haven’t been jealous or salty because a couple of dudes I knew were performing at a place/atmosphere I shouldn’t be around, but I am certainly capable of it! Other people’s moves may not be healthy for your walk as a person, and/or they are simply unaligned with what you are currently focused on, which can cause goal (art and otherwise) distraction.
I have asked myself these questions regarding my last sensation of entitlement, and it allowed me to realize the depth of my tripping, and it empowered me to limit the duration of that feeling. It won’t be the last time I feel like this. You may feel like this soon. However, all we have to do is ask these questions, sit down, and be humble.